What Hurts The Most
by Temporary-Username
Summary: Set after Not Fade Away. This a HighlanderAngel crossover. What happens when Lindsey McDonald wakes up to discover himself immortal? How will he handle Eve's death, or his need for revenge against Angel? Chapter 2 Up
1. Reborn

**Disclaimer: I do not own Angel or Highlander, they are owned by their collective companies and I'm making no money from this.**

(This is only my second time every writing a fanfic, I know it sucks but bare with me. The next chapter will be longer. Reviews, ideas, feed back are all welcomed)

**Summary: **(Angel/Highlander crossover) Lindsey McDonald isn't as dead as he thoughts. When he wakes up to discover just how alive he is, what will happen? This is about his battle to destroy Angel, losing the love of his life, and discovering what he truely is. How will he accept the help of our favorite highlander? All this and more

_"Come on." Lindsey said slowly, a smile gracing his lips. "I could sing for you." He's glad to be part of a team, to be doing good for a change. But it's not enough. "I've heard you sing." Came the reply of someone who had been his partner only moments ago. Lorne has already produced a gun with a silencer from his jacket, he doesn't hesitate to shoot Lindsey twice in the chest. "Why...why did you..." Lindsey managed to get out, blue eyes looking down at his own wounds as he stumbles backwards. "One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be." The words are cold, though the demon speaking them visably has a hard time believing that they're the truth. "You..kill..me?" Lindsey questioned, his body collapsing onto the floor. His shirt has a large crimson stain on it now, he's bleeding to death at a quick rate. "A flunky? I'm not just...Angel...kills me. You don't...Angel..." His rapid breathing comes to an end as his body finally goes limp, life leaving him_.

That was how it happened. The death of Wolfram and Hart's former golden boy, it ended a way that Lindsey McDonald never saw coming. But not all things are set in stone, death isn't always final. In a world where demons come and go, portals take you to other dimensions, it isn't hard to believe that other mythical creatures or ideals actually exist. Inside the remnants of a former demon lair, what has come to end has the ability to start over again. A once dead body jolts with a new spark of life, anyone could see the pain and confusion ethced on his face. Frantically, his gasps for the oxygen that his body demands of him. His lungs feel as if they're going to burst from the deprivation, he can feel the warmining sensation of blood once again pumping through his veins. The first time you come back to life is always the most painful. It takes minutes for the cold effects of death to leave his body, allowing him for the first time since this all began to form coherent thoughts once more.

He quickly unbuttons his shirt to discover that his chest shows no indication of his death. No scars, no bruising, just natural tan skin. _What's...going on?_ The question is pounding inside of his mind as he casts his glance across the room, surveying his surroundings. Everything is the same way it was before. His sense of smell is confirming the fact that around him are rotting corpses, bodies of demons that he killed not long ago. This isn't some kind of hell dimension, he's been to a few of those in his life time, it's not hard to tell the difference. He's alive. The dull ache in his body is a clear indication of that as he manages to get back to his feet.

_Angel_. The memory of what happened comes back to him, in a feeling that he can only compare to as getting hit in the face. Angel, Lorne, the gun shots, the betrayal. It's fresh in his mind again and his facial features visably become colder because of it. The reason why he's back doesn't matter right now. What he is? He could care less. There's one thing on his mind, one clear driving motive. Vegeanance. The one time in his life he decided to do the right thing, to fight the good fight. His pay back for that was his own death, he had been betrayed by a person that he finally put trust into. _Figures, should have expected something like this from a euro-trash vampire_. The thought gives him a small amount of comfort as he reaches down, grabbing the sword he had used earlier. The blade is still covered in a disgusting film of green demon blood, though it's nothing that can't be fixed. While his revenge is undeniable and will no doubt take place, there's another pressing matter on his mind. Something he hadn't initially thought of, not while visions of a dusted Angel still existed in his mind. This is the one thing that he has to take care of first, something that's even more important to him.

Without another moments hesitation, he walks out of the building and heads for his truck, his face is hard to read..but it doesn't carry the same emotions as it did previously. There's something else in those blue eyes, something new. Concern. The roar of the engine as the vehicle comes to life is a pleasing sound, it means that he can carry out his plans faster. He has somewhere he has to go before anything else is to happen, someone he has the see. To think...that he may have never been allowed to see her again, that she would always be left wondering what happened to him. He doubts that she would have ever learned the truth, not from Angel atleast. Reaching into his back pocket, he slides a fading leather wallet out. Inside carries the picture of his hearts desire, the one thing that is preventing him from going after Angel right now. _Eve._


	2. Tragedy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Angel or Highlander, they are owned by their collective companies and I'm making no money off of this**

The truck came to a hault after approaching the destination that Linsdey had in mind. While there was still a hatred that burned inside of him, that wasn't the most dominant thing in his mind at the moment. There's a child like feeling inside of him, one of innocence, of love. It makes even the most ordinary and mundane things seem new. That's the effect that she's had on his life. The's sky's a different shade of blue when she's around, the world isn't filled with evil and darkness. She makes into something entirely different, something beautiful. Pulling the keys from the ignition, he quietly slips out of the truck and heads for the apartment they share. He can already envision her smiling face, the look that she has reserved only for him. He never knew love before he met Eve, she taught him more than he could have imagined. Seeing her again will make all of this worth it, seeing her can make him forget about Angel. Forget about everything besides the life that they have together. She gave up her immortality to be with him, it was the most anyone had ever done with Lindsey. Remaining quiet, he pushes the door open. The apartment is silent. Deathly silent. It's not a welcomed noise.

"Eve?" His voice calls out into the darkness, as one hand reaches out to find the light switch. His voice is met with nothing in return, only the silence that had already consumed the room. "Baby?" Still nothing. Calmly, he walks throughout the apartment, searching each room for a sign of her. Everything points to the fact that no-one has been there since he left earlier in the morning. This wasn't the plan, what they had agreed to. But still, it wasn't anything to to worry about, there's another place that she could be. Something could have come up, things could have went on a different path of action.

Something in his mind is warning him that things aren't how he would like them to be, but that can easily be ignored. The trip back to the truth ahd thereafter is a quiet one, his face shows nothing but a neutral expression, as if he were simply going to purchase groceries or something trivial like that. At this moment he could be planning the ways that he's going to get Angel back, all the different new and inventive techniques he could use to turn a vampire to dust. Or hunting down the lackey that shot him, Lorne. Those would be rational thoughts, given the circustmances. Most would even understand why he had them, but for the time being, it's not the case. She hasn't left his mind, not yet. She's always there, she's a part of everything that he does. There's no doubt in his mind that this is going to be the girl that he marries, that they'll share a life together outside of all this chaos. The lawyer that wanted to move up the ranks of Wolfram and Hart is gone. That person has been dead for a few years. This is Lindsey McDonald, the man who had finally found what he wanted.

There's always defining moments in our lives, where a moment of clarity is granted to us. We have the choice to go forward or turn back, to choose one thing or another. Do we witness unspeakable events, or do we turn back and never disocver the truth of what happened? There's always a moment. To live in ignorance of the horrible things that happen, or to take them head on. Lindsey could have spotted the smoke from miles away, but he wouldn't have known where it was coming from. It's not such a strange sight in Los Angeles, not something he hasn't seen before. To the regular citizens, they would take it for what it was and leave it at that. But that wasn't an option that was given to Lindsey McDonald. With each mile passed, the smoke drew closer, larger in size. This wasn't a coincidence, though part of his heart was already pleading that it was. As Wolfram and Hart came into view, something inside of felt as if it was going to burst. There wasn't a Wolfram and Hart. Not anymore. There was smoke, fire, dust, debris...everything that had once been magnificent about the building had fallen to the ground. It had collapsed..been destroyed, down to the very foundation.

_She's wasn't in there...God...she wasn't in there_. The voice inside his mind was nothing more than a plea, a desperate one at that. They had to have gotten Eve away from the building, they couldn't just leave her there to die...could they? _What if she had been waiting for me? _Panic seized him, a fear greater than he had ever known was building inside of him. His mind was in a frenzy, heart pounding furiously in his chest, adrenaline pumping throughout his body. He violently puts the truck into gear and jumps out the door, legs carrying him at a dead sprint. The smoke and dust in the air cloud his vision, but it's not enough to stop him. There isn't any going back from here, the truth has to be discovered, more than anything else. Quickly, he moves into what's left of the building. Her name is a cry from his lip, over and over again. He's throwing debris to the side, trying to find any indication that she had been here. Is there a point to it? A building that was this large..is it even possible? No matter the odds, he has to try. He has to do this for her. She wouldn't have been anywhere else. She loved him, she wouldn't have gone off without leaving some kind of note. Maybe she is with Angel. The thought fills his heart with a new hope. But as we know, hope can be shattered as easily as it can be created.

There. Underneath a pile of stones and building remains, a hand is visable. A soft, delicate hand. One that his lips had kissed before. His heart wants to deny the truth, that he couldn't indentify her from that. He drops down onto his knees beside it, it takes every ounce of will power that he contains to force his arms into action. Shaking hands pull away all that covers what's underneath. Everything is more visable now, and it can never be taken back or forgotten. Her face is smeared with black streaks, a long with blood. The sight makes everything stop for him. In one instance, his heart is shattered. No matter how many attempts, the pieces will never fit back into place again. Tears are freely streaming down his cheek, his body is racked with his sobs. A new kind of pain coarses through his body, one that no physical pain can ever compare to. It touches his very soul, and it feels as if it's being torn apart. True love is a rare thing, but when taken in such a way...words can't begin to describe the feeling. He cradles her broken body in his arms, heart broken blue eyes looking at the face that he woke up to every morning. There are no last words, she stopped breathing before he ever got there. No long good-byes. No closure. Only death. The finality could be enough to kill him, if he could in fact die. Never again will that bright light shine in his life...nothing can be the same. His arms clutch her tightly to his body, he doesn't have the strength to let her go. It's true...love never knows it's own depths until the hour of seperation. And they've been seperated forever. His eyes hold a tragic love for her, his fingers lightly stroke her hair. More than anything, he wished he could have given her comfort in her last minutes on earth. That she wouldn't have died alone.

This will lead him on a path that will be covered in blood. This tragedy was the defining moment for Lindsey McDonald.


End file.
